A pet's diary...

I borrowed today’s entry from one of the many dog/pet-related sites I subscribe to. They didn’t have an author acknowledgement, so if I’m stepping on anybody’s toes I’ll apologize now. If you do know the author, let me know and I’ll include credit. The entries are written from the perspective of pets with diaries. Probably pretty close to what the truth would be….

From a Dog's Daily Diary:

8:00 am
Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!

9:30 am
Oh Boy! A Car Ride! My Favorite!

9:40 am
Oh Boy! A Walk! My Favorite!

10:00am
Oh Boy! Getting petted! My favorite!

11:30 am
Oh Boy! Dog Food! My Favorite!

Noon
Oh Boy! The Kids! My Favorite!

1:00 pm
Oh Boy! The Yard! My Favorite!

4:00 pm
Oh Boy! To the Park! My Favorite!

5:00 pm
Oh Boy! Dog Food! My Favorite!

5:30 pm
Oh Boy! Pretty Mums! My Favorite!

6:00 pm
Oh Boy! Playing Ball! My Favorite!

6:30 pm
Oh Boy! Watching TV with my Master! My Favorite!

8:30 pm
Oh Boy! Sleeping in Master's bed! My Favorite!

From a Cat's Daily Diary:

Day 483 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh food while I am forced to eat dry cereal.

The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape and the mild scolding I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

Today my attempt to kill my captors by winding around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs.

In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair; must try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was.

Hmmmm, not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell of food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my power of "allergies". I must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit.

The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant. He speaks with them regularly, and I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured.

But I can wait; it is only a matter of time.