Emily and the toad

I've said it before, I'll say it again - border collies are the BEST!

I let the girls out a couple of mornings ago - one of those rainy mornings. I let them out into the garage area, which feeds to the back yard. Lo and behold there was a HUGE toad - bigger than a baseball - sitting there. Loretta takes one look and says, "oh no, no, it's too ugly to even LOOK at" as she daintily steps over it (and literally averting her eyes). Ruby looks, and takes one huge step over it. "Whatever." Emily, though - Emily sees it and GOES for it! Barking, snapping, herding. The toad went towards the refrigerator, Emily herds it back. Went for the back porch, not what Emily wanted. Finally, the poor thing hopped under a metal shelf rack, which seemed to at last satisfy Miss Emily. Not sure if it was out of sight out of mind, or whether her fun was just finished for the morning.

Top 10 Peeves Dogs Have With Humans

From one of the many "living with dogs" email things I subscribe to:

1. Blaming your farts on me..... not funny... not funny at all!

2. Yelling at me for barking. I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG

3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?

4. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose. Stop it!

5. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.

6. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! Whoooo hoooooooo what a proud moment for the top of the food chain.

7. Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back!

8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.

9. Dog sweaters. Hello ??? Haven't you noticed the fur?

10. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth. You're just jealous.

Finally - a funny story!

I've been prompting the dogs to do something stupid lately. "I don't have anything to blog about, y'all...can't one of you please make a fool out of yourself?" I guess the heat of the summer has gotten to them as well, because there was refusal to oblige. Until yesterday.

Tony brought home bagels. I'm not much of a bagel fan - for one thing, a whole bagel is just so much bread - but I decided to eat one yesterday morning. Anyway, the "old" carton of cream cheese was almost out (why, Tony, did you put it back in the refrigerator with a teaspoon of cream cheese in it?). Into the kitchen comes Rosalita (aka Piglet). Big, liquid brown eyes. But, remember, she's the one who is convinced that we try to poison her twice a day - once at breakfast and once at dinner. I held the carton down to her, and typical of a dog about to be poisoned, she wouldn't take it. So I just set it on her nose - kind of dangled it there. She sits up on her haunches (think a "begging" pose), Philly Cream Cheese container danging from the tip of her nose. Then she starts licking, which makes the container bounce up and down on her nose.....Fortunately, it fell off about the 5th lick - otherwise Tony would have had to take me to the hospital for a sedative to calm my hysterical laughter......